love urself

Do you love who you are? It’s an uncomfortable question, because so many people give it a bad connotation; if you love yourself, you must be egotistical, self centered, “above everyone else”, arrogant. But this is so far from the truth. Those extremes exist; everything in excess can be bad. Aristotle talked about a “Golden Mean”, where something like Courage was a careful balance between Cowardice and Recklessness. The same goes for loving yourself; of course too much can turn into Narcissism, and you won’t grow, you won’t change, you won’t love others. But that is an extreme that is so very far, far out there. Sadly, and more commonly, we have a lack of love for ourselves; we hate who we are, what we do, and doubt we can be better. We bash our thoughts, looks, actions, and abilities. We wonder if we even MATTER. And this lack of love, for ourselves, keeps us alone in a world where there are so many of us looking for the same thing. Love.

“Do you hear the way you talk to yourself? Do you hear the things you think when you look in the mirror? How harsh you are to yourself when you say something awkward to someone, when you mess up, make a mistake, or feel like you don’t know what to do?...When was the last time you were a good friend to YOURSELF?” I add to this from yesterday. When was the last time you LOVED yourself? Because how you feel about YOU is the gatekeeper of everything else you feel in life. How you FEEL inside is how you EXPERIENCE life. No one can make you feel something you don’t already feel inside, we know this! How many good things have you heard from people that simply fall on deaf ears because, as nice as it is to hear, you don’t BELIEVE it about YOURSELF. Yet we look for these feelings outside of us all the time, hoping someone of something can make us feel better when it has to START inside of us

The door must be open for any trespasser to enter. Or their at least has to be a way inside. What does this mean? Nothing anyone says or does to you can make you feel good or bad unless you already think those things about yourself. Or at least entertain the idea. If someone calls you short when you are, in fact tall, it does not affect you. But if you feel stupid and someone calls you such, it is devastating. If you feel your “work” is terrible, no compliment will make you feel nearly as good as if you were proud of what you accomplished. It has to start within you. If you can’t Love yourself, you can’t do anything. And you are so worth it.

It’s not your fault. It is never your fault when you feel terrible about yourself, about love, happiness. It is not a game that can be won with blame or pointing fingers. But it IS your responsibility to change how you feel about yourself. You’re the only one that really can. And it will be the hardest battle you will ever wage. It is hard to love the one person you live with 24/7, who’s thoughts, doubts, mistakes, shortcomings, and fears you can’t hide from. You see the worst of you with far harsher eyes than anyone else ever will, and the only way to change it is with love. Start to love yourself. Believe in yourself. Give yourself credit. Be open to change and don’t be afraid to try something new. And love. Love is the greatest thing we have here. It’s the only thing that can heal and create any lasting change and happiness. And for it to come FROM you, it has to be INSIDE of you. Love yourself, my friends. You deserve it. No car can run long on empty. And you have been running low on self love for a long time. We love you, and we can’t wait to see what you bring into this world. But it has to start with love. You deserve it. You are so loved.